Careers

A journey to becoming an LGBTQ+ parent with Hayley

With it being Pride month, we thought there was no better time to speak to Hayley, our Corporate Reporting Manager all about her journey to becoming an LGBTQ+ parent.

Hayley tells us about the progress she has championed in the workplace to make sure we’re LGBTQ+ friendly when it comes to parental leave. She talks about her journey and how she has worked to update policies and systems to make sure we’re totally inclusive when it comes to LGBTQ+ and becoming a parent. 

So Hayley, tell us about who you are?

Hi – my name is Hayley and I work in Company Secretariat as the Corporate Reporting Manager.  My wife, also called Hayley – yes we're both called Hayley - and I have two children, Oscar Harley and Ava Lauren. 

 

Firstly, tell us about your journey to becoming an LGBTQ+ parent…

So, my wife and I had our civil partnership in March 2013, the year before same-sex marriage became legal. Not long after that, we started on our journey to becoming parents – something we'd talked about for a long time.

 

So, what did that involve?

So first it was all around choosing the donor - probably the most fun we had during the whole process!  It's an online catalogue and a bit like picking a handbag or pair of shoes - only you can select a donor based on hair colour, eye colour, race, height, ethnic origin, skin colour, occupation, highest qualification and religion.

We then started with IUI treatment and went through three unsuccessful rounds – so we decided to try the more expensive IVF treatment. Once the eggs were collected, they were fertilised and three embryos grew. Following the procedure to implant the embryo, we just had to wait to take the pregnancy test like all other couples – and then that second line appeared, and we were pregnant!

Fast forward, and two babies later, they were both delivered safely. For Oscar Harley we didn't actually end up going to the hospital as he was born at home on the bathroom floor at 1:27am! Luckily our second (Ava Lauren) was born in hospital, but only with 20 minutes to spare!

 

That’s amazing! Were there any barriers you faced along the way in the workplace?

Yes, back in 2013 when I came to request paternity leave for the birth of our second child, I soon realised that although our policies were updated it seemed we needed to update our systems too, as the system only allowed men to complete it.

I therefore began a journey to make sure policies were tweaked and systems were updated to make sure anyone who requests paternity leave can do, regardless of gender. I'm proud to have influenced making that change happen with thanks to all the support from colleagues across the business. 

 

And finally, do you have any advice for LBGTQ+ parents thinking about starting a family?

At ST we’re really lucky that we have an inclusive culture, and no matter who you are, you can be yourself and if like me you see an opportunity for change, you can really influence it to make it happen. So much has moved on since I went through my journey to become a LGBTQ+ parent which is just a testament to everything we’re doing as a business with the continuous work of our LGBTQ+ advisory group.

So with that, I’d say wherever you are do not accept the workarounds or alternatives that we as LGBTQ+ people are so often offered – whether that’s work or somewhere else. We must help make those changes and question the decisions, so that we can live in a society and work for a company that doesn't prejudice or discriminate against our sexual orientation – love is love!